Abuse Indicators

 
It's not easy to spot an abusive person, even if he/she is your partner. The "being in love" feeling can make it hard to separate loving concern from jealousy. A partner's constant attention may be considered flattering rather than a signal that our partner is exhibiting controlling behaviors.

Remember that these behaviors indicate that a person has power and control issues. If your partner uses or displays any of the following indicators it does not necessarily mean they are an abuser, but it certainly does indicate he or she may have problems.

Does or has your partner. . .

• Push, hit, slap, choke, kick or bite as a method of control?
• Threaten you, the children, other family members or pets?
• Threaten suicide to get you to do something?
• Use or threatens to use a weapon against you?
• Keep or take your paycheck?
• Force you to have sex or perform sexual acts you do not want to do or like?
• Keep you from seeing your friends, family or from going to work?
• Have exclusive control over all the money and household financial matters?
• Not allow you to have any part of the decision making process at home?
• Was physically or emotionally abused as a child?
• Witnessed domestic violence as a child?
• Lose their temper frequently and more easily than seems necessary?
• Drink alcohol excessively or abuses drugs?
• Have rigid ideas about what people should and should not do based on male or female sex-role sterotypes?